True Self-Improvement, Overcoming Fear and the Special Nature of Adrenal Memories and Its Relationship to Understanding PTSD (Part One)

True Self-Improvement, Overcoming Fear and the Special Nature of Adrenal Memories And Its Relationship To Understanding PTSD (Part One)

What is the essence of 'self-improvement? really and how is it best achieved? This is a critical subject to develop an understanding of both for those of us earnestly trying to improve ourselves, and especially for any of us holding ourselves out to be 'facilitators of self-improvement? and self-improvement programs.

Please understand that by 'improve ourselves? I mean genuine self-improvement. Hence, I am not referring to the 'transitory things? achieved by a ?Big Name? charismatic speaker who may give a 'seminar? where he or she lectures to several hundred people sitting in their seats in a large auditorium. And I ask you, are not most of those people primarily there just for the excitement of being 'entertained? anyway rather than out of an earnest drive for self-improvement?

There is a large portion of the self-improvement industry today that is providing people with only these superficial and temporary 'feel good? experiences and 'entertainment? rather than true and enduring self-improvement and genuine self-discovery.

Yet, I absolutely know from long experience that 'true and enduring self-improvement? can be achieved by well designed programs actually created for that end and which incorporates the specific psychological and physiological principles that I am going to try to illuminate here in this three part article.

We should first recognize that most people just want the 'magic pill?

Or as my publisher laughingly once told me: ?Peyton, what they really want is the Chocolate Cake Diet?.

But there is no 'magic pill?. Real progress in personal self-improvement is never a passive activity either. Real self-improvement demands some measure of risk. True self-improvement must involve the facing and overcoming of some measure of adversity and most often that means overcoming some personal fear.

My professional and personal experience has shown me very clearly that virtually nothing of real and lasting value is ever achieved without both effort and personal risk. Not in love, not in business, and not in life in general either. But people cannot simply be 'told this? and then somehow magically 'internalize? this reality into their lives in a productive fashion. It just does not work that way since there truly is no 'magic pill?.

People have to actually experience all of the 'larger truths of life? directly for themselves in order to incorporate that knowledge into their lives as a functional 'tool for life?.

The correctly constructed and executed program can allow individuals to equip themselves with 'new mental tools? and ones which becomes a part of 'who they are? thenceforth.

Truly life-changing events occur for people when they face some risk and then conquer a fear. These beneficial, life changing and personally strengthening events do not occur when people stay within their 'comfort zones?. The two concepts are mutually exclusive.

The morphology of the term 'seminar? comes from the idea of 'planting a seed?, the seed of an idea or of a new concept. I therefore do not deny that if a seminar is truly done well that it can be a beneficial experience for the attendant. However, the passive 'seminar? is the format in which many, if not most, 'self-improvement? type programs are delivered today.

But, there is another and far more powerful vehicle for self-improvement than the passive 'seminar?. Indeed, it is a vehicle and a training methodology that is so powerful that in my observation it can truly help foster legitimate personal self-actualization. It can redirect people's lives and it can liberate them from their irrational fears.

Consequently, and by necessity that superior vehicle for self-improvement must involve the aforementioned concept of 'effort and personal risk? I am talking about truly 'stepping up to the plate? of a real challenge. I do not simply mean sitting in an auditorium seat and being entertained and made to 'feel good about yourself? by a celebrated professional speaker. A professional speaker who has polished his act and talents for making the people laugh and 'feel good? about themselves at his or her seminars. Such a person is mostly a professional entertainer rather than a facilitator of self-improvement.

I am talking about something quite different from that. I am talking about self-improvement programs that allow one to recognize, experience and acknowledge and then face and overcome a real fear. This is the best and most effective type of self-improvement program there can ever be and its objective is almost always overcoming some type of self-limiting fear.

Now this type of 'self-improvement training? does demand some courage and so I know it will thus never be as popular or as commercially rewarding as the passive 'talk? seminar. But please understand too that neither does the method I speak of mean taking any 'fool hardy? risks either. We don't really have to go skydiving to overcome our fear of heights.

Indeed, the fact is that physiologically speaking there does not have to be any real danger at all in this dramatically effective self-improvement process. But the 'body? physiologically has to perceive that there is a danger and therefore there must be some experience of fear. Please think a moment on this question: How can we overcome any fear in any program unless we first experience that fear during that program?

Let me give you a specific example of such a program. Consider people who are self-limited because they have an irrational fear of flying on an aircraft.

Think how that would limit your life if you were too fearful to step aboard an airplane. If that were the case then you could not go to an airport and be in any city in the United States in a matter of hours or anywhere in the world in about a single 24-hour flight period. That fear of air travel could limit one's career opportunities or attending a family members funeral or perhaps even meeting with a romantic interest.

So what's the most effective way to get people who are 'deathly afraid to fly? to face and overcome that fear? That is to step on that airliner and take off and thus expand their lives?

I can tell you that on an important level I have found this, and conquering other fears, not so difficult to achieve really with most people. There has been the occasional 'hard case? but even they can generally be 'fatigued? out of their fear in time. Here is a short explanation of the process and it applies conceptually to a much larger range of different fears and phobias.

You must first allow the 'fear of flying? people to discuss and identify their fears and in a group situation. Then you can discover if there is some special and personal reason why any individual fears air travel. But very importantly they also get to articulate that specific reason to the group. An example would be the death of parent or other significant person to them as a result of air travel.

In being in that group of persons that share this same fear of air travel they begin to feel less 'estranged? and more 'normal?. This is important; as what it really means is that they are becoming better able to 'accept themselves? just as they accept and empathize with their classmates. You have thus already somewhat relieved an encumbrance on their personal self-image and you are bonding the group in a mutually supportive 'team? that shares a common goal. Now, and in small steps you then build on that first small success.

You give them the facts about airline safety of course. But their fear is not fully rational so you can't simply 'rationalize it away? with these people at this point in time.

Yet all this 'talk? is just psychological preparation for the challenging 'event?. It is something akin to wiping an alcohol pad over the skin before giving an injection.

Eventually (and actually fairly early on) you would have them sit in a realistic mock up of an airliner, or an actual airliner when that is available. Then we simulate as authentically as we are able the take off and landing with the sounds of the aircraft.

All the time they are being told exactly what they would be experience next if they were on a real aircraft preparing to, and then taking off. For example: ?Ok people when the plane takes off it shakes and rattles a bit, well sometimes more than bit, you may feel it bump down the runway before lift off and you will hear a noise special to the jet engines revving up?. Then they all hear a hi-fidelity recording of that jet engine sound made from inside the passenger cabin of an actual commercial jet taking off.

As you might expect during these first few simulations sometimes a 'fear of flying? person will get rather upset and fearful at this point. Occasionally if this behavior is severe enough then it is best for them (and the others in the group at that point in time) to excuse that person from the exercise. But they will always be welcomed back by the mutually supportive and bonded group as a whole and they will always complete their journey and they will pass through their fear of flying.

Realize that when they have achieved this victory over their long-standing fear it does much more for them than just allow them to fly on commercial airliners. It expands their sense of personal self worth. And it is directly from the strength of our personal self-image, that is our sense of personal self-worth that all else we achieve in our lives principally flows.

The final graduation exercise for the 'fear of flying people? is of course an actual plane flight. It is a very emotional and a very positively triumphant moment for all of them.

When the plane lands and they walk off they have a feeling of profound accomplishment and it is a quite justified one. They know and feel that too precisely because they have just so unquestionably validated it through their air flight. It is a deep feeling of personal accomplishment, I might even say an 'awakening? that they all have and one which they all share with one another.

This process does work to get people over their fear of flying in an aircraft. But consider this, as infants we are all only born with two natural fears. These are a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. All of our other fears are learned! And so they can thus be 'un-learned? too!

Ok, most people do not have a disabling fear of flying on an aircraft. But fear is the greatest obstacle in our path towards advancing and securing any of our personal 'life goals?. I would ask you to consider the absolute reality of that statement for few moments too.

There are two kinds of fears though, rational fears and irrational fears. Rational fears can 'keep us alive? and healthy so we do not want to ignore them In fact we ant to hone our perception of these rational feelings of danger. A simple example of a rational fear would be 'look both ways before crossing the street?.

But irrational fears limit us. Irrational fears block us from actualizing our greater potential in life. In the next installment we look at one of the most widespread and self-limiting fears of all, the 'fear of personal rejection?, and in this example we look at this fear in the context of the quest to both give and revive love. (you can read the entire article at our website)

www www.rmcat.com? www.peytonquinn.com Peyton DOB 2/24/50 Author: Freedom From Fear: Taking Back Control, Of Your Life and Dissolving Depression (ISBN-10: 0975999605, ISBN-13: 978-0975999608, The Science & Art of love & Romance: A Strategy for Success a Program For Healing ISBN 978-1442177482.Black Belt Hall of Fame